The Art of Lending, Discussing, and Re-reading Books
Recently, a good friend expressed to me, “I just don’t understand how two people can like the same things for such different reasons.”
Now, this friend is far more intelligent and well-read than I am. This friend understands things in different ways than I do, but our interests converge and our differing perspectives always make me feel closer.
The conversation got me thinking about the ways we interact with books and the way we interact with other book lovers in our lives. Of course it is impossible to completely agree with anyone one hundred percent of the time. That would render a friendship boring and moot. In my eyes, the strongest reading friendships are built on respect, curiosity, and openness. The ability to engage with someone who challenges your opinion, or whose opinion you challenge, is a special thing to have.
When lending someone a book upon insisting they read it, one is either presuming or hoping that person will appreciate something about it. If you expect too much, you may just be setting yourself up for disappointment. I’ve found it’s best to let the book flow freely into the other person’s life and become a part of them in any way it can.
Then comes the sometimes difficult part of any reading relationship… discussion. This is where you stand with your wall of opinions and interpretations and love of the book and must be willing to defend the foundation while allowing some of the bricks to be chipped away by your friend’s reading. I’ve often found that my walls have been decimated by another’s interpretation of a favorite book. I’ve also decimated a few walls in my time with the written word. Then it is time to rebuild. Readers are thinkers and thinkers discuss and reconsider. In this discussion, a person is the most fortunate if they learn something from the other person’s perspective. The rebuilt wall will be made up (if one is lucky) of bits and pieces of the original, fragments from the other, and newly forged materials that result from your interactions.
It is then time to revisit the book with a widened and varied perspective. Not all of your original perceptions will be shattered. If you are lucky and open, though, there will be significant reconsiderations while you re-read. This is how you know you are dealing with a worthwhile book… and a worthwhile friend in literary arms.
After all, isn’t one of the best reasons to read anything to alter your perspective, learn new things, broaden your understanding of self and others, and get that much closer to the rawness of humanity that literature brings to us?
Kevin Elliott
Store Manager
Open Books
